That Day

That day 

was the corner of a sun ray right before it set

sharing its last bit of warmth before it went to bed

as I stare at the window pane watching the sunrise today

the disdain in my gut remains unsettled, disheveled

like the purest sense of betrayal

my heart and mind I can't seem to leverage

excuses become my gateway to a spiritual escape

it hurts too much to think ... so i don't

and feeling takes to much energy ... so i pretend to be incapable of it

That day

i could not eat because my stomach was filled with hope

but i did not dare gloat, because a part of me knew that 

hope holds no weight in the matters of the heart

it serves as an appetizer to tease you and please you 

before you get served a meal that you wont be able to finish

its like being fed bullshit shit with your eyes open

but

That day

i blinked and had an epiphany 

my eyes re-opened and re-observed the world

like a new born baby

it's like i opened up a dictionary and saw my life in it

but there was still a chapter missing

a chapter left with blank lines

left for me to finish

and to this day I have no definition

That day

you stared into my eyes and saw that

they were darker than a cities night sky

no stars in sight just a apathetic glare

and i watched you patiently as you 

aggressively emptied out your bag on to my desk

you tossed my valentines day gift out with regret

it was in a jewelery box that appeared to be wrapped with love

i opened it anxiously with caution as soon as you turned away

and i realized today that that was the day you through my heart away