Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Lost (whats next for us part 2)

Whats next for us...
I am stressed distressed and flexed
when i try to organize the feelings I have compressed
because im scared of feeling and dealing with us
the us that we've lost
and the lost us has cost me more than i had to give
i am emotionally in debt
my credit is declining
ive maxed out my patience, my tolerance, and my understanding
all in one trip
and those are the least of my worries
i gave all i had to give
ive heard you out
but i can no longer listen
ive reached out
but you seem to be at a farther distance
and i cant seem to stretch my arms far enough to reach us
its like my heart is fixated on you
but that's not enough
its like you wont be satisfied until
you have me clenched tightly enough to only breathe your air
but understand me you never do
its like you cant see that us together is a venomous mixture of pure insanity
and your so clenched into my heart that it hurts
as i try to pull and pry you off of my soul
you got this everlasting hold
that i cant seem to control

if my pillow was a plant, it would be a forest by now
because it gets fed every night
with the tears my eyes shed
my pillow is more nourished than i am
crying has been the healthiest thing that i am
there's no other outlet

you just don't get it

and I chose to let you go
i tried to let the bridge burn
but that will never work
in order for us to disintegrate
we have to decide to let go together
but we continue to fight in order to stay together
although both options hurt us forever
and i try to keep my composure
but this is truly torture
if we belonged together
why has this weather been anything
but in our favor

and still i got to question whats next for us
but i believe the answer is a lost cost
because its gonna remain just as lost as we are.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

My Fairytale

Hello everyone
My name is Jaimie hill
and I prefer to speak properly
because I am royalty
and I bet you'll
never guess where I come from
so let me fill you in on my fortunate lifestyle

I come from a place where we reside in majestic castles
I come from a place where my royal neighborhood consists of things that fly around oh so magically,
I come from a place where I am the apple of my prince's eye and I am his one true love

Aren’t I lucky to be living this fairytale life?
Oh but wait I left a few details out

I said I come from a place where we reside in majestic castles that are twenty stories high but these castles aren't surrounded by grassy fields, they are crammed five on a 1 block radius sitting pretty on gritty concrete that is abused daily by street runners, dope boys, the homeless and those who have homes that they cannot run to

I said I come from a place where my royal neighborhood consists of things that fly around oh so magically, but do not be confused, I am not speaking of fairies or godmothers, nor of pretty little birdies, I speak of those who get high off trees cause they have nothing else to lift their spirits, and the souls that fly up to the heavens way earlier than they were meant to because they were statistics and where ponies are replaced with pit bulls and as for birds we have flying rats that we call pigeons, and as for pigeons we have dirty birds that we call smuts and whores because their lives consist of flying from one mans bed to the next as sporadically as they please searching for some one to fill a void, but they mistake the hole in their heart with the hole between their legs and little do they know that that damage is there to stay.

I said I come from a place where I am the only apple of his eye, well at least in my mind, in his he has 6, the 2 that sit pretty on my chest and the one that constitutes my rear end and then another set on the next chick and prince charming isn't as charming as he seems only until he gets what he needs and in my fairytale you don't go from princess to queen but from princess to an STD

Sometimes it seems like this reality is a fairy tale because it’s so unbelievable that it should be a fiction, but in my fairytale there is no happily ever after

And by the way if your still wondering the projects is where I reside.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Bleeding Love

woke up this morning to a mascara stained pillow case
realized that my eyes bled through the night
as i began to recollect the details of our last conversation
all i heard was my heart cry and scream for some sort of salvation
he once compared our love to that of a red rose
the life the beauty the purity the innocence of a blossomed flower
the hope that it embodied the happiness that it foreshadowed
but he failed to mention that every rose has its season 
and with the end of each season came a death
our love was a special case though
it didnt just die out, we held on as tightly as we could
till will strangled our rose
the pain caused a struggle that we could no longer fight
our rose bled till it could no longer exist 
the manifestation of our love leaked into the sink 
as we looked away because watching its blood our love float away 
would bring nothing but despair

About Me

My photo
SouTh oF NoWhErE, New York CiTy, United States
Born in LA
Raised in the Bronx
and of Honduran ethnicity,
i Am a cultural urban mix of complete randomness,
so much more than what meets the eyes... i have a passion for writing an obsession for music and an undeniable addiction to dancing.
welcome to the 'inner me'.

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