Violated by a Friend

You were my friend

so I mistook the volume of your aggression
to be just your nature
When you stormed out
after my simple denial to pleasure
I swept it under the rug
reasoning that like dust it would
lay unseen & unheard
Unable to effect my allergies
I guessed you were just
Testing my moralities
You must've mistaken me
for a late night 2 train local
type of chick to make a stop
for any guy on the track

but you were my friend

so I tried desperately to pretend
that your actions wouldn't become a trend
Thought you understood that
our relationship was platonic
But you pressured it to shift like
the tectonic plates under california
that late night I heard
a set of foot steps beside mine
& I looked back to find that
they didn't belong to my shadow
Smelling of straight Georgi & DS
you would've thought the
Devil resided inside of you
& frankly you smiled

but you were my friend

So I thought nothing of you
wandering into my room
& as soon as the latches on the
door clicked closed
pulling a trigger to my brain would've of
brought me less anguish & pain
I can still see the painted sin in your eyes
as you pinned me down to the floor
& I screamed STOP
but I guess it wasn't loud enough
for you to realize that
already you had killed me inside
Behind your eyes there was no sight

& in that moment you were lost

behind mine bled tears
as I begged you to release me
but you continued to rip off layers of me
my clothing removed from me like
leaves off branches in the Fall
dead with out a choice
dead with out a voice
dead was I as I struggled to get you off of me
but then it seemed pointless
& I became a motionless stone
& my heart drained out to black
& as you prepared to
violate me further I whispered

but I thought you were my friend

& you looked up at me
as if you'd forgotten it was me all along
without a word you just picked up & left

& that was the night
I almost got raped by a friend.