Adultery

Sleepless nights,
promises and secrets
pent up behind me
tensed up inside me
The story of the unborn
Haunting beside me
Whose going to guide me
The foolish mistake
To let lust engage me
Left better judgement
To escape me
I have forsaken me
For a we that's turned
Into a three
And now that I've subtracted it
how can I look at thee
The mirror cringes at the mere sight of me
Eyes darkened like the sight of death on the cloudiest day you see
my Eyes feeling heavy like I can't stay awake
But I just wish for the day
That I can sleep with no regrets
My sleep is never sleep
Eyes closed with thoughts of dreams
Awake in sleep dreaming of how I thought it would never be me
Passed judgements on those
Who I thought to be beneath me for the choices they made to live
Being labeled for a decision that they thought would be fitting
Fit for an unfit mother to be
we stray
Stitch that red A on my chest
Shun me for being morally incorrect
Smile at me and wait till I turn my back to walk away
To say things that my conscience screams at me everyday
Nothing compares to the pain I felt for
The selfish decision I made for a misconception of reality because
Contraception was too far away to reach
And I thought one exception was a mild thing
Allowed my mind to be deceived by the liquor in me
I shouldn't have poured that last cup before I got home
Because the pouring hasn't stopped since that night he and I made a we
and turned into a three
And after that subtraction
In my mind it's rained for weeks
And still the sorrows that I've buried haven't drowned and dried into
weeds.